Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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