I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
