super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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