so explain again why im purple
no
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
