would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
