We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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