4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
