dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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