I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
