Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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