Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
