idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
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