how can u be prego again
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
