Can i not drive my cunt home
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
