are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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