I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
