It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
