I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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