we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
