Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
