I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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