I hate your face
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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