Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
