Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
