just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
