I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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