matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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