u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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