all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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