Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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