i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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