Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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