She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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