Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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