I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
