I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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