Texts From Last Night · tim_will_eat_yo's Favorites

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tim_will_eat_yo's Favorites Texts:

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it

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(919): View more from North Carolina

My legs feel like baby dolphins

Fav 0 677 418
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(206): View more from Washington

In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.

Fav 0 598 388
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.

Fav 2 588 308
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"

Fav 4 1992 802
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(712): View more from Iowa

I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.

Fav 5 2187 881
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(905): View more from Ontario

I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again

Fav 2 727 885
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..

Fav 11 1563 4803
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