Texts From Last Night · slopjalop's Favorites

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slopjalop's Favorites Texts:

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(907): View more from Alaska

so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts

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(716): View more from New York

you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"

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