Texts From Last Night · dman01989's Favorites

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dman01989's Favorites Texts:

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(785): View more from Kansas

It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...

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(847): View more from Illinois

i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.

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(914): View more from New York

she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"

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(330): View more from Ohio

so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister

(216): View more from Ohio

i hate you

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(510): View more from California

Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

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(804): View more from Virginia

she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.

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(214): View more from Texas

Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

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