Texts From Last Night · The_Outlaw's Favorites

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The_Outlaw's Favorites Texts:

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(310): View more from California

Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.

Fav 24 4650 1343
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(519): View more from Ontario

Clothes are such an inconvenience.

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(303): View more from Colorado

If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.

Fav 56 14265 1990
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.

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(716): View more from New York

she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.

Fav 29 6872 1549
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(757): View more from Virginia

At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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