so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
