i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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