Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's blow job season.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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