You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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