And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you traded sex for a burrito?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
