right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's rum buckets o'clock
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
