There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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