You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
