it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
