like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
