He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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