My brain says no but my pants say off.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
