that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
