the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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